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What’s Breasts Got To Do With It …I was real clear about my breasts and what they have to do with it—everything and nothing. It took me a while, but I finally got it! My breast meant everything in terms of my physical health, emotional well-being, and my survival. They meant nothing in terms of my inner beauty, strength, and self work. My breast did not validate me as woman—they never did. The Diagnosis…My Journey Begins ...I took a deep breath. The room went completely black, like someone was holding a cloak over my head. Nothing but darkness existed. “Malignant” hung in mid-air like a feather slowly circling the room and descending into the darkness. I saw death. I fought to hold back the tears but couldn’t. Devastated But Not Destroyed …I sat on the side of the bed numb in disbelief, fractured to what I thought was beyond repair. I was devastated. I needed help and I knew that I couldn’t do it alone. I also knew I didn’t want this disease to destroy me. “O God, please help me.” One Titty Gone …Tears obscured my reflection in the mirror. It was too late to change my mind about having the mastectomy. I wished I had thought about it more. I wished I could go back to a time when life wasn’t so cruel. I desperately tried to remember images of my former self; a lost memory I knew I couldn’t recapture. What I would have given to have that inverted nipple again. Beyond The Shadows …I couldn’t completely separate myself from the shadow of death that the cancer seemed to cast over me. I was just so afraid of dying from the disease I would not allow myself to think I could possibly live a long life; that I could be a survivor. Satan has a way of getting real busy when you’re vulnerable and wounded. But faith was all I had to hold on to until this shadow no longer hovered over me. Still On My Journey ...my journey was more than just about this disease. It has been an incredible life-altering, life-affirming, and rewarding voyage. Had it not been for breast cancer, I never would not have learned to rejoice in the magnificence of how He created me. I pray God will continue to do profound things in my life for I recognize my journey has really just begun.
“BREASTLESSNESS represents the thought and dedication of one woman’s
commitment to sharing how early diagnosis and treatment of breast
cancer can save your life. As a gynecologist and as a woman, I have
found no book that is more complete and detailed in empowering women
with the necessary tools for seeking and receiving quality health
care.” |